Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Sad Reality: "Age 3, I was a Victim of Domestic Violence"

The Exposure to Domestic Violence and What That Means in The Future for Children

Allow me to give you a few alarming statistics on this epidemic:

  1. More than three million children witness domestic violence in their homes every year.
  2. Children exposed to domestic violence at home are more likely to have health problems, including becoming sick more often, having frequent headaches and stomachaches, and being more restless or lethargic.
  3. Children are more likely to intervene when they witness severe violence against a parent, which can place a child at significant risk for injury or even death.
  4. Children under the age of five, as compared with older children, were more likely to be exposed to multiple incidents of domestic violence and parental substance abuse over the course of six months.

A study provides substantial information about the fact that younger children, who are most dependent on their caretakers, are most likely to be exposed to serious domestic violence as well as additional risk factors.

Groves points out, based on her clinical experience as Director of the Child Witness to Violence Project at Boston City Hospital, that domestic violence has the potential to be particularly damaging for children when they are exposed to assaults between people they love. In our research, we have found that both parents and police perceive witnessing violence against a parent to have a much greater impact on a child than violence against a stranger. One way children can suffer from a parent being a perpetrator is that they never stop replaying the beatings repeatedly in their minds (the start of potential PTSD).

How may exposure to violence influence children’s later outcomes? As your child matures, victims and abusers who stay in abusive situations increase the risk of an intergenerational cycle of violence. In a study of 10,036 elementary and high school children in inner-city Chicago, it was found that children and adolescents who witnessed and were victims of violence were more likely to become perpetrators of violence than those who were not exposed (Capella University School Library, 2012).

Another study of 536 children in grades 2, 4, 6, and 8 linked children’s physical aggression with witnessing family violence, primarily spouse abuse; relationships included both same-sex and heterosexual (QueenAfi, 2015).

As noted, it is possible and even likely that early and repeated exposure to family violence may be a precursor to later violent adolescent and adult behaviors. This brings me to the question of bullying because it is tied to children witnessing domestic violence. "Bullying can be the prime example of a student’s home life" (QueenAfi, 2015). In a clinical study with elementary school age and younger children exposed to repetitive family violence, we frequently observed disturbances in school behavior, mixed feelings toward parents with positive affect mixed with anger, and difficulties in forming later relationships.

Want to know where your children's negative attitude could be coming from? (Case A)  Mr. B, a 28-year-old man with borderline personality traits, described an intact family with a demanding and domineering father and a compliant, submissive mother. He described very restrictive family rules, "like boot camp," and frequent corporal punishment (hitting with a belt), and stated that "If my father had been left to his own devices, I would have been a battered child, but my mother protected me." He described one incident at age 11 in which his father became enraged, chased him into his room, screaming "I’ll kill you," cornered him, and began to strangle him. His mother attempted to intercede, at which point his father attacked her, struck her in the face with a closed fist, and knocked her to the ground. After this attack, his father was remorseful, and no similar incidents occurred (Childhood Trauma and Borderline Personality Disorder, 1989).

Want to know why your children might run away? (Case 2)   Ms. A, a 35-year-old woman with borderline personality disorder, was the fourth of five siblings born to two alcoholic parents. After her father deserted the family when she was 3 years old, the household became increasingly chaotic. Her mother enforced unclear and inconsistent rules by screaming, hair pulling, hitting on the head and face, and kicking in the knees and genital area. In Ms. A’s words, "You never knew when to expect it." "You could do something wrong, and my mom wouldn’t notice, and then you could knock over your milk and she would fly off the handle."

Her mother remarried when Ms. A was 9 years old, and the level of violence in the home diminished. Shortly after entering the home, however, the stepfather began sexually molesting Ms. and her three sisters. The incestuous relationship, which proceeded to oral sex and intercourse, continued until she ran away from home at age 15 (Childhood Trauma and Borderline Personality Disorder, 1989).

These results from cases 1 and 2 demonstrate a strong association between borderline personality disorder and a reported history of childhood abuse. The standard response or cultural norm has been justified with an explanation of "what goes on in my house stays in my house" or "country living or traditional living." This research from 1989 translates into the fact that mental health professionals were taking notice of the trauma back then, and now more laws are protecting children from childhood domestic violence, which is the master of ceremonies in children's lives (QueenAfi, 2015).

How can my child call CPS? I know personally that my grandmother, in the 1930s, experienced childhood domestic violence by her mother. These cases have told the story of children being verbally, emotionally, sexually, physically, and financially traumatized due to their parents' and their parents' generational abuse. The younger they are going through this, the more the emotional damage can increase. Children are more vulnerable in terms of both immediate effects and long-term risk for later psychological problems in the absence of intervention (Capella University School Library, 2012).

For at least the last 20 years, America has become the mediator between childhood abuse and domestic violence by using mental health professionals and researchers to put laws in place to protect children. Breaking the cycle of childhood domestic violence starts with parents admitting that there could have been a history of domestic violence in their lives and work towards early intervention with their children (QueenAfi, 2015).

DVWMT blogs thoughtfully provide you with education, encouragement, and cognitive empathy toward correctly viewing our hard-topic dinner table conversations as enlightening, essential truth, needed transparency, and fresh perspectives for communities and families.

Reference:

Judith Herman, M.D., J. Christopher Perry, M.P.H., M.D., and Bessel A. van der Kolk, M.D. Childhood Trauma Borderline Personality Disorder, 1989.

Capella University Library 2015 http://search.proquest.com.library.capella.edu/psychology/docview/821820015/349C2D65BFA8406BPQ/2?accountid=27965

QueenAfi

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Sad Reality: "Age 3, I was a Victim of Domestic Violence"

The Exposure to Domestic Violence and What That Means in The Future for Children Allow me to give you a few alarming statistics on this epi...